From Meshplex

[edit] Averyjea’s Hair Journey

It has been a long time since I first wrote the article about the effects of relaxers. I would like to tell you about my personal journey hair journey that I feel is a life-style change. I remember in 2006 when I was laying out synthetic hair to put braid extensions in my hair, and my daughter looked at what I was doing and she said "Your adding long hair to your hair momma"? I thought about what she said and what I was doing at the time adding hair to my hair, and I wondered to myself what message am I sending my daughter by adding this hair to my hair. Am I telling her that something is wrong with my own hair and that's why I add extensions for braids and relax my hair? I definitely did not want to do that and that is when I started to look into the effects of relaxers. Now before I go on I must say that anyone who relaxes or adds hair to their hair that is there own choice. I just know for me that I'm not going to relax or add hair to my own hair again.

When I began to research about how some natural African American women styled their hair and took care of their hair. I knew it was do able. When I began wearing my hair natural; I loved it. It was so freeing to be able to get my hair wet whenever I wanted and to not have the weight of added hair on my hair. I didn’t think I could enjoy my own hair, and feel this proud of it but I did. The thing that really surprises me are reactions to my hair be it good or bad. When I wear an Afro (which is really rare, because wearing your hair “down” can be damaging after a while) I get a lot of reactions mostly from men surprisingly and a lot of them good. My husband loves afros and natural hair in general, so I was pretty lucky on that end. When I wear my hair in different braided styles I do get people with relaxers looking, but sometimes they seem to like my braids. I use to wear my hair in twist when I first started, but I stopped wearing them for some reason I just didn’t like the look when I would finish them. Although, I have experimented with lots of different looks puffs, twist, braids, braid out, twist out, big box braids, small box braids, big cornrows, small cornrows. I haven’t done locks on my hair yet, but I think they are very beautiful when they are maintained correctly.

[edit] My natural hair rules that I follow

Some people have many different degrees with which they follow a life style change some vegetarians do one thing while other does another. Such as some natural hair people add hair to their hair, some use all natural products, some don’t use natural products, some people consider pressing their hair as natural hair. Well here are my rules that I follow and I’m not saying that all people should do this. I just do what works for me.

• Using little to no heat on my hair- The only heat I use to blow dry my hair is if I’m going to clip my ends
• No shampoo- Shampoo is too harsh for African American hair. Conditioner does clean your hair.
• No relaxer
• No adding hair to my hair be it synthetic or human
• Very Very rarely putting color on my hair- I’ve put color on my hair once in the 5 years I’ve been natural

[edit] Hair talks with my daughter

Now its 2010 and I and my daughter have been natural for quite some time. Actually, my daughter has always been natural so her hair has never been touched by a relaxer or a pressing comb. From time to time I like to have hair talks with my daughter who is 9 right now so that she gets a since of why I am natural and how to deal with praise and rejection of natural hair. I told her that this is my lifestyle choice and while it may not be a popular choice it works for me. I also told her that she is free to change her hair when she moves out or hits 18. It's just the way I do things in our household. She says that she wants to keep it natural, but I know that when she becomes a teenager she will get a lot more pressure to straighten her hair with heat or relaxer. I also told her that she should not put down someone else who chooses to wear their hair different from hers, such as relaxers. I also reminder her and show pictures of relaxer damage. I would just like to add that I think relaxers for children are absolutely ridiculous.

Update: We have Braidlocz now and I will be putting my hair journey on this website.